LSD SESSION - Trip Report 1, IFAS-102

June 12, 1961

sobbed, and was conscious of Paul's strong hand holding mine.  I thought "This is indeed my country and I need no other," and I think I really understood what America means for the first time in my life.

At this point, Dr. Sherwood administered Mescaline, although I did not know then what I had taken, and the music changed.  My brain said "Debussy, La Mer" and I tried to repeat the lines of Lamartine: "J'ais vu la mer a St. Malo, Je serais un marin, c''est mon lot!"  It is the Acropolis, but yet -- it is Nineveh, Babylon, Thebes, Memphis, nay this is no city I have ever seen, and even as I hung suspended and gazed, the sea arose and engulfed them all, and they crumbled from sight, and the whole Heavens were bathed in a light of such splendor that I grieved at their passing, and yet knew that such cities would come again.  I had only to set foot on a single sunbeam and I could dance along it to the farthest star.  I was among the myriad worlds of the milky way with Alleda and the children.  Light foot we danced among these worlds, a parsec at every step, only to sink onto the softest grass I have ever known.  I opened my eyes and wondered at the journey on which I had been.

Then the opening strains of Beethoven!  The immortal pastoral, the sixth.  It seemed that all living things rejoiced, the verdant country side bloomed, and I called to all the instruments, for these were my friends whose every voice I knew so well.  As the saucy flute obligato began I watched Dan Cupid disporting in the waves of the sea as he rode the Dolphin's tail.  How mischievous he was!

Suddenly I became conscious of the mural and the music echoed He is all three Father, Son, & Holy Ghost.  I knew it to be true, and all the angels seemed to smile their agreement.  Beams of roseate light streamed from the central figure of the mural, and the face was Infinitely Kind.  But now it is my face, yet I cannot believe it, but it is so!  I made the sign of the Cross as I used when a boy.  I studied the faces of Myron and Paul, and Paul was wise and very much like my father, and Myron looked like a gargoyle.  Suddenly I knew why the ancients carved them, for within the leering stone if one looks, one can see imprisoned, a beautiful soul, and thus did Myron's soul shine through his eyes.

I was thirsty and Goldie gave me some water, and I all but wept she was so kind.  I had a compulsion here to go to the bathroom, and I managed with great difficulty to stagger to it.  Within, behind the closed door, it seemed that I was a small boy again, and had already wet myself, and I sobbed for shame, and the walls closed in upon me, as grinning demons crawled from every corner.  Frightful  misshapen creatures advanced toward me, and their wings beat the air.  I knew that to stay was to die "Enough" I cried.  "I fear you not." False courage in these words, yet they fell back, and I lifted my arm, a ton weight; seized the door knob, and opened the portal to sanity, and stepped out.

Tremendous relief flooded through me, and again I lay down on the couch.  My gaze became fixed upon the effigy of Christ Crucified which was on the table.  I was immediately on that Cross, in agony and suffering, my head streamed blood, or so I thought, and yet I knew if I could but bear it I was sure of salvation. I seemed to

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