From the Early Days

An Introverted Electrical Design Engineer

November 23, 1959

In the following pages I describe my reaction to the 150 gamma of LSD-25 I took on November 20. The Significant effects are in three categories, and occurred fairly well in sequence rather than intermixed. These effects are visual imagery in response to music; emotional response to pictures of my sisters, and to a lesser degree of my mother and father; and emotional response to music.

The imagery consisted entirely of moving forms and patterns, never of recognizable objects. At first the only color was light, pastel green, but later many colors appeared, both on the background tapestry and as splashes and figures racing across it. At first the display was as though projected on surrounding concentric screens that continually unfolded from the center and moved outward; later imagery occurred throughout surrounding three-dimensional space. The last imagery, about 5 1/2 hours after taking the LSD, was in green only, similar to the opening color but a somewhat darker hue. While the opening scenes gave an unmistakable and prolonged impression of unfolding outward, the closing picture carried the impression of folding inward.

The picture of the sister 6 years younger than I am unlocked the most powerful emotional response. I gazed at primarily this picture and sobbed for nearly half an hour, and returned to it frequently throughout the evening. But this felt wonderful and rewarding, rather than unpleasant and painful. I also responded strongly to a picture of my sisters when they were about 12 and 15; the only discreet emotion I could identify in my response was sorrow that I am so wise so late, and missed so much for so long, and the tragedy of the unnecessary damage my resentment caused them. I responded to pictures of my parents, but gained no insight concerning my early inter-relationship with them. I was not interested in pictures of myself when I was young. I did not respond to a painting of Jesus.

I listened to music for nearly four hours on the morning after taking LSD. The beauty of the music was so overwhelming that I was frequently moved to tears, although I had no such response to music during the session.

At no time during the evening was there any fear, or anything unpleasant. The emotional release was something I had been seeking for quite some time, and the beauty of the visual imagery was indescribable. It was quite an evening.


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